“He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.”
Dr. Johnson

A good way to start a journal is with an excerpt. Why not?
From my favorite book, movie.
Anyways in about 28 days (Augest 10th) It'll be my birthday. I'll be even older, so I'll probably be more angry, destitute, and of course deranged. Time has away to seeing to that. I know this first hand, see it with my own eyes. Hell, I live it, Live for it? I Love to hate, makes things bitter!
One of the things I hate most is myself, but this is cause I'm pretty lazy. I've spent the last week doing nothin besides lounging in my room like some kind of vacation. In reality I should be getting college bound. Summer is almost over and as for work it hasn't been crucial has it. I'm pretty glad I don't have to make the effort to go though, Its been excessively hot. The Sun had been topping up around the 100's Fahrenheit: 95, 96, 97, 98, I think even one day 99. As expected living in the desert would be. The flesh on my hands, toes, limbs have actually been peeling skin from the dry humidity. Part of me has drunk nearly 100 water bottles in the last few months.

My birthday isn't really a special time of year, I really don't like to celebrate it. Its almost another day. Though I do enjoy the attention to an extent. I feel my birthday is more enjoyable in a small does. Things like expensive gifts and expensive dinners just don't suit me. My step mom has taken me far out to the middle of nowhere Asian restaurants. Its fine, though I guess cause she is Vietnamese, I really don't wish to object, hurt her feelings. That goes without saying though if say my dad is using her feelings as an excuse to go as far to push me into something I really disapprove of I will draw a line in the sand. A firm disposition, striking fear into the intimidation. She her self bothers me, she's foreign and its good she carries her culture with her, though I wish she'd accept our culture some. Compromise. Part of her has. She drives a car, though you need to understand a car is no reason to be pompous and shouldn't define your social status. Little Asian lady in a big ol' luxurious BMW. Its a scary thought. She says my driving is bad yet I never high centered the car nor crashed it where the whole bumper needs to be pulled out. I've ridden where she was driving, never again... I could go on but no use. Its ranting, a social parasite oozing crude thoughts into the woulds of of society. That self centered bastard talking about his life and upcoming birthday. How grotesque of him. Where does he get off? How does he find the nerve?

I see an Ice cream cake in my future. I see a cheap pizza looming over my head, a 5 dollar Hot and ready from Little Caesar's. Most the time I consider them awful; Dry taste, No sauce. Even dry, week old pizza with sauce is still good being a little hard. But this diet of sorts I don't wish on anyone. The thought, with good intentions, is that I'd starve to death at home. The Cake is for my birthday, after my step mom was told about the concept of an Icecream cake, with high praise you almost can't escape it. (If you haven't guessed, allot of her life affects mine despite me and her have exchanged words a handful of times) The influence of her friends drives me up the wall. This is Gonzo journalism at its finest. Mundane events you could care little to nothing about.

The Asian's Friends:
I've never met them, though I guess they defy logic, perhaps gravity. Some sort of sorcery, I will never comprehend.
First off the Mercedes: In a world such as mine; American made and duty free. I'd have to imply being a Nazi with ownership. My Stepmom thinks a Mercedes is the worlds greatest invention!

An odd thought, the Honda we got her after the crown victoria (cop car) was too small. Yet this laptop I'm using now was too heavy. So both times I've inherited things she has second rated.



Gah, Need to type about something else before I puke. After doing a whole lot of nothing this week, I had started modding the old command and conquer game. Tiberian Sun: Firestorm. If you don't know my father this is probably the last game he'll play his life time. I thought I'd mod it for him some. Make the AI harder, challenge him. I found some Mods been testing them out myself before I give them to him. I'm pretty Shitty at RTS games. The only ones I'll play anymore are either Shining force or Final fantasy tactics. Never could give Fire Emblem enough love. Its fun don't get me wrong, I love Lyndis. I had uploaded a rom before the cartridge had even come out. My ordeal is I don't have the heart to play. I can't take losing characters. Its upsetting, I'm too affectionate, I start playing I love the characters and cause of a sloppy strategy one initiative, I don't think they deserve to die. This also is consideration I was trying to make them stronger, wasn't expecting a critical.... The other part is I don't wish to play a battle over I like to move forward.

More to come I'm just a little sleepy to type.